Sleep Working
by Rdyest
Summary: AU: Grimmjow and Ulquiorra are roommates working for the same company. But is there a sinister motive behind their employers seemingly relaxed facility?
1. Chapter 1

**AN: **

**Ohkay, so I havent written in like aaaagggeeessss, but for Extension English i gotta do a major work and this is the start of what I'm writing for it. And I REAALLYY need feedback on it. I'm happy for you to say anything about it, in fact , please tell me if you think it's crap :) basically I'm choosing to do an AU fanfiction that's supposed to be exploring whether a story can be completely mental and still make some sense... So yeah, help me out please :D**

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Ulquiorra opened his eyes. The alarm glared at him in the dark, mockingly proclaiming the existence of hours too early to comprehend. He sighed and rolled out of bed. The floor was cold and hard, this fact prompted him to rise and stagger out of the bedroom into the adjoining bathroom. He splashed his face with water, the icy touch making his hands shake so much that he struggled to turn the tap off again. He sighed again, knowing for sure that he was not going to be able to fall back to sleep again. He considered all the things that he could do at 3am and settled on frying bacon. Within minutes the fatty scent was filling the whole room and carrying him away on a bed of sensory overload. He was tempted to smile dreamily, but didn't because he had long ago been rendered incapable of expressing any sort of emotion.

"What the hell are you doing up!"

Ulquiorra sighed at the interruption to his blissful reverie and turned to face his obnoxious roommate.

"What I do is none of your business, trash."

Grimmjow growled.

"It's my business if it wakes me up!"

"I was hungry."

"You're cooking bacon at 3 am!"

"I was hungry."

"But… Bacon!"

"Silence, trash."

"Why don't you, stupid bat!"

"Obnoxious cat! You're going to wake the neighbours."

"Screw the neighbours!"

A third voice suddenly interjected.

"Who's screwing who?"

Ulquiorra froze and in that instance only two thoughts had the audacity to cross his mind. The first was the overwhelming urge to sink into the carpet. The second was the ague curiosity as to how on earth Szayel had gotten into the apartment. When movement returned to his limbs, he grabbed his bacon off the stove and left the room.

Grimmjow glared at the retreating back before facing the onslaught of the flamboyantly pink haired man in front of him.

"You two really do fight like a married couple you know. Frankly, it's embarrassing. I can't understand how people can tolerate you."

Grimmjow scowled, his fist itching to make contact. Szayel remained oblivious to Grimmjow's murderous expression, choosing instead to place his hands on his hips. He looked, for all purposes, like he was giving a lecture to a two year old.

"I fail to see why you insist on being awake at these unearthly hours! And the bickering! I need my beauty sleep you know."

Grimmjow's frown deepened. He was tired and had a faint bacon craving the last thing he wanted to deal with was Szayel's attitude. So he grabbed him by the collar and threw him out into the hallway, slamming the door behind him.

"YOU ALMOST BROKE MY NOSE!"

"Shut up Szayel."

Ulquiorra, meanwhile, sat contentedly on the living room couch eating his bacon in the dark. He felt that he more than deserved his tasty treat and took another bite, watching in concealed amusement as his foul-tempered roommate staggered back to bed. He sat in silence, relishing the last few mouthfuls of his meal. As the bacon slowly disappeared, he considered what to do with the rest of the time before he had to go to work. There was more than enough time in which to complete his demanding skincare regime, so there was no urgency there. He nibbled on the last piece of bacon contemplatively. The apartment was clean, except for some dishes. With the last taste of the bacon melting in his mouth Ulquiorra decided that he was in considerable need of more bacon.

Grimmjow fell back to sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow and his mind woke in a completely different setting. _He blinked a few times, his eyes slowly adjusting to the low light. Then he wished he hadn't. He was sitting in the audience at a theatre, a place he would normally refuse to be caught dead in. Theatres were for pansies like Szayel, not for awesomely buff gangsters with blue hair like himself. He narrowed his eyes to try and focus on what was happening on the stage. Someone who looked suspiciously like the head of staff from his workplace was on the stage. He appeared to be doing a sleep rendition of some opera movement. A slick of drool trailed out the corner of his mouth leaving a fine, and slightly luminous trail on his skin. Moments later a small ape at the back corner of the stage caught his attention. The audience watched in rapture as the primate slunk forward until it was standing directly behind the oblivious sleep-performer. The audience held its collective breath as the creature grew and swelled until it was over double its own size. Slowly it opened its razor sharp stomach and consumed the drowsy man in one gulp. Applause broke out across the room like fire across a match head. After the applause had died down the pink stage light detached herself from the beam above and made her way off stage. Her departure was followed by the plaintive pleas of the spotlight, begging her not to leave him. A sleazy stage rope got slapped by the departing light as it tried to seduce her. While this was going on, the heavy curtains had discovered a developing rash and were frantically attempting to detach themselves from the hanging rings that were undoubtedly the source of their discomfort. One of the leading floorboards took this opportunity to make an impromptu debut to stardom. The woody solo rang out strongly throughout the auditorium touching the hearts of all those listening, except Grimmjow of course. No amount of soulful music would ever penetrate his steely exterior. The earthquake hit moments later; the whole theatre shook uncontrollably, until even the foundations quivered…_

"Grimmjow! Grimmjow its time for work! Wake up!"

Still groggy, the bluenette lashed out, his fist catching his roommate solidly under the jaw. Ulquiorra punched back, skilfully knocking the air out of his opponent.

"Bastard." Still coughing, Grimmjow pulled himself into a sitting position and glared murderously at his roommate. As per usual, Ulquiorra seemed to have spent the majority of the morning painting his face. Two dark green lines trekked their way down his porcelain cheeks before disappearing off the edge of his jaw.

"You're as bad as Szayel." He wheezed. Ulquiorra shook his head.

"No bacon for you then." He retorted standing and taking the plate that bore the delicacies with him. Grimmjow froze.

"N-no! I'm sorry! You're nothing like Szayel! He's way more pansy than you!"

Ulquiorra considered the statement.

"You are not sorry, you are just hungry trash."

Grimmjow sighed and dragged his uncooperative feet into a standing position. Upon doing so, the second thing he noticed was the distinct sound of Szayel's whining somewhere down the hall.

"Come on Ulquiorra. Just gimme the bacon. I'm starving, and if I can't eat it, I'll have to eat your face."

Ulquiorra replied by giving him a withering glare. Grimmjow responded in kind. Blue met Green as the daily stare-off commenced. After three solid minutes, Ulquiorra was declared victorious. He left the teary eyed Grimmjow with the plate of bacon and made his way to the bathroom mirror to ensure his early morning beating had not disturbed his pristine face. He was satisfied to still have skin that was paler than toothpaste, a fact that stood out almost glaringly when contrasted with his jet black hair. He was about to turn and leave when a slightly more presentable and still chewing Grimmjow appeared in the mirror behind him. Ulquiorra watched patiently as the taller man ran his hands through his hair to detangle any particularly stubborn knots.

"You missed a bit." He commented dryly.

Grimmjow was horrified. "WHAT! Where?" He looked anxiously in the mirror for the alleged area in need of improvement.

"All of it Grimmjow. You still look like you just got out of bed."

Grimmjow snarled and stalked out of the bathroom in frustration.

"I always look like this! Don't freak me out like that!"

Ulquiorra followed the raging bluenette casually, occasionally rebutting a particularly offensive comment with his trademark; "Silence, trash."

In the hallway, the pair was joined by their two neighbours-slash-work colleagues Nnoitra and Szayel. The quartet had formed a very unlikely friendship that could only come from the work that was forced upon them by the Hueco Mundo CEO, Aizen Sosuke. Szayel started the morning's communications by shrieking.

"Look at me!" He wailed. "I look like I've been hit by a truck! I blame you two bickering washer women. You are so uncouth!"

"Hey Nnoitra. Sleep well?" Grimmjow quipped, completely ignoring Szayel's general existence.

Nnoitra grinned spoonily.

"Oh yeah, I sure did. You know me man, I sleep like a shovel!"

Ulquiorra nodded wisely. He did know this, it was very hard to not notice how very…. spoon-like Nnoitra was while he slept. A very tall spoon; quite easily mistakeable for a shovel. They walked in comparative silence, Szayel raging not stopping for anything, before Ulquiorra brought up a pressing question.

"Whose turn is it to drive?"

The other three take turns shrugging before Szayel came up with a solution.

"It can't be me, I drove yesterday."

This statement produced an almost simultaneous reaction from Szayel's companions. Nnoitra groaned loudly, Ulquiorra's face faded to an even lighter shade of white and Grimmjow's eyes lit up like Christmas.

"Pantera my darling! Daddy's coming!" He hollered as he hurtled down the hallway. The other three followed apprehensively. Getting into a car with Grimmjow behind the wheel was always a memorable experience to say the least. He had yet to crash, but it seemed to be only sheer luck that had saved them so far.

"Someone please remind me why on earth we agreed to let him be on the driving roster?" Szayel whined nasally.

"He was too enthusiastic to refuse." Ulquiorra replied, his deadpan expression still painted firmly on his face.

Upon arrival in the building's communal garage, they found Grimmjow purring at his beloved car.

He patted the bonnet affectionately.

"Are you excited Pantera? You get to come driving with Daddy!"

The car in question was arguably the most stunning vehicle in that dingy garage, even Ulquiorra's Murcielago could not compare in lengths of sheer awesomeness. However any appreciation for the car was immediately nullified by the growing horror that Grimmjow would be driving.

Grimmjow kept cooing to his precious car until all passengers had strapped themselves in and found somewhere to hold onto. Grimmjow turned the key in the ignition and Pantera came to life with an almost feral roar. From the time he slammed the car into reverse to the moment he pulled up in the car park all three of his passengers existed in some sort of hyper reality suspended between the realms of high speed whiplash and wondering what-on-earth-was-I-thinking-getting-in-the-car-with-this-guy. Grimmjow scowled as he watched his passengers hurl themselves onto the pavement.

"Geezz…. You guys are such babies!" He scoffed as he walked away. The approaching doors of 'Las Noches Inc' loomed menacingly over the sidewalk promising another full day of work for its unfortunate employees.

Despite Las Noches' menacing aura, it was seldom that anyone other than those directly involved in it ever questioned what business it housed. The whitewashed walls gave away none of their secrets; the mahogany doors gave no sneak peeks. This was most likely a good thing, as sometimes the things that happen behind closed doors are best left undiscovered. But for our unfortunate group of underlings, the long day was only just beginning.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: A shorter bit this time, sorry guys, hopefully it'll be a good read anyways. Thanks everyone who's reviewed; your feedback is much appreciated. It would really make my day if i could get more reviews, tell me anything at all that you didn't like about the story! Anything at all cos I really need this feedback :)**

**ps. I don't own Bleach :D**

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A still snickering Grimmjow was the first to enter the office block, and was also the first to be accosted by the ever-grinning Vice-President, Ichimaru Gin.

"Aaahhh~ Grimmy-chan~~! Bring Pantera ta work taday, didcha~?"

Grimmjow beamed, despite his initial distaste at Gin's atrocious lack of any grammar.

"YEAH! My girl got a good run today! A couple of near misses, but she didn't even get a scratch!"

Gin chuckled softly.

"Ahh~" He cooed. "So didja have lotsa funs Noi-Noi?" The tall and spoonly gentleman to whom this was directed gave his superior nothing more than a cursory glare before continuing unsteadily towards the nearest elevator. The silver haired torment followed closely.

"Naawww~~ Come on Noi-Noi~ Dun ignore meeee~~"

Grimmjow felt tempted to laugh at Nnoitra's misfortune, but the threat of Gin's attention being turned on him was enough to keep him silenced.

Standing shakily at the back of the group, Ulquiorra was tempted to accidently not catch the elevator. Avoiding extended periods of close contact with Gin was something that was quickly picked up by anyone who hoped to last longer than a day. However, at the last minute, a spiteful Szayel held the door.

"Hurry up Ulquiorra!" He called. "Surely you don't want to wait for the next lift! Move faster!"

Ulquiorra's usual façade of indifference shifted to one of vague contempt as he hobbled into the elevator. The steel doors slid shut with a soft thud leaving the occupants in an uncomfortable silence.

"Nyyahh~~ Szai-chan~ Why ya so squirrmmyy?"

Stepping out of the elevator and into the general office area was like being hit by a wall of unnecessary communication. The combined efforts of 74 people attempting to locate their respective workstations was not a pleasant event to behold. Gin skulked away, chuckling at his underlings misfortunes. He had never understood the President's desire to make his subordinates locate their desks of a morning, but neither had he felt the need to question this strange habit. It was one of the least harmful of Aizen's peculiar habits, and as such was best left alone. Grimmjow meanwhile was once again regretting not doing something to make his desk less generic. Szayel, once again, had little difficulty locating his pink desk amongst the sea of brown. Grimmjow considered adopting this approach, but something about the hideous affront to good taste that was found in Szayel put him off the idea.

Tucked away in a high and secluded corner of Las Noches, President Aizen stood in front of his numerous televised screens watching gleefully as chaos tore through the office blocks below. This was consistently the best part of his morning, the rabble's desperate attempts to locate their belongings never failed to bring a broad, and slightly creepy, smile to his face.

"It is truly a just way to keep them on their guard."

Aizen suppressed a heavy sigh at the appearance of his blind associate. The man was a pain, but such pains had to be suffered if he were to achieve his ultimate goal. He turned, a fake smile plastered across his face.

"Ah. Good morning Tousen. I trust you slept well?"

The dark-skinned man turned towards the sound of his president's voice.

"Justice was served." He intoned.

Aizen felt his eye twitch.

"Has Ichimaru not arrived yet?"

"Nyahh~ I'm here now Aizen-sama~~ No need ta fret, ayyy"

The fox-faced Vice-President grinned broadly at his President's obviously pained expression.

"Didja miss me Aizen-sama? Cos ya know ya shouldn't 'av, what wiv havin Tousen round an' all."

Aizen brows furrowed slightly. He was about to reply when Tousen interjected with another completely useless round of jabber.

"Of course I must remain present. If I were to become absent then justice would cease to exist in this place and the unjust heathens would rise up and turn this facility into a circus. I cannot justify that occurrence."

Gin snickered.

"Nawww, but wat's wrong with tha circus Tousen?"

Tousen chose to ignore his grinning associate, directing his attention to the higher things of his existence.

"Is it not time, lord Aizen?"

Their power-hungry, bespectacled leader turned and gazed at his screens. The chaos had settled down substantially, with each minion finally sitting in their designated position. The work day had begun. Aizen smiled.

"It is indeed."

He reached out his hand, allowing it to hover momentarily above the large switch underneath the screen. Gin watched through slanted eyelids anticipation shooting through him. Today was the first day of the true experimentations, previously there had only been minor events with which to check the system. Now they would know whether it had all been worth it. Aizen's hand lowered the switch.

"Time to sleep my children."


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Another update! Thankyou sooo much to you guys who reviewed. Please tell me if you see ANYTHING wrong with this next bit, sorry its short again, but I need the feedback.**

**Thanks again, and enjoy the read :D**

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_Ulquiorra's brow furrowed. This was certainly not a conducive use of his time. The vineyard stretched out in front of him tauntingly. The head of staff- Starrk, if he recalled correctly- stood sleeping on top of the nearby fence occasionally letting out a feeble mumble sounding something like an attempt at opera. With very little else to do, he set out across the countryside. He had not gone far when he chanced upon a game of poker. Five of some of the lower level employees were sitting down on the grass surrounding the pack of cards. They were laughing hysterically with very little respect for those around them. _

"_Get out of my dream, trash."_

_They looked at him warily and were about to retort when their heads explode, leaving Ulquiorra alone and in a considerably better mood. _

"_Where is the bacon…." He wondered aloud. Suddenly, without warning of any kind and with a distinct lack of anything resembling premeditation, a third voice appeared._

"_Watcha doin Grimmy-chan~?"_

_Ulquiorra blinked. This mysterious voice sounded distinctly like Gin's, the floating eyes in the middle of the air did nothing to dissuade him from this notion. _

"_That trash is not here." He spat out, having finally recovered from his shock at seeing the floating disembodied sight receptacles in front of him. _

_The eyes blinked once, and then narrowed further, if further narrowing were even possible._

"_Aaaahhh, Tosen, Ya've gone an' sent me to visit Ulqui-piee! Tha's not right! Watcha do tha' for ay?"_

_The voice in question raised an eyebrow. _

"_I can assure you it was no fault of mine."_

"_Nyeah, nyeah, nyeah…. Jus' fix it!"_

_The voices departed quietly, leaving Ulquiorra staring rather bemusedly at a piece of ground he was sure had not been purple a moment ago. _

To Grimmjow's horror waking up had not removed him from the opera. In fact, if anything, his current predicament was worse than it had been before. The show on stage was coming to its grand climax; the throbbing beat of the orchestra was giving him a very uncomfortable nagging pain at the base of his skull. The abrupt end was accompanied by a fading on of lights, revealing the faces of those around him. Directly in front of him he recognised Ulquiorra's dark form. The arrogantly miserable bat seemed to have managed to fall asleep with a bemused look on his face. At his side Szayel and Nnoitra sat gazing blankly at the stage. Nnoitra seemed to be in some sort of daydream, a trickle of drool ran sluggishly down his chin as Grimmjow watched with mild concern. Szayel seemed to be conscious, but was giving all his attention to the small and slightly disconcerting item in his lap. It had a tail, of that much Grimmjow was sure. He shook his head and stood in his seat. Two rows away a group of the junior employees were swaying groggily.

"Whyyy?" One of them complained loudly. "Why can we never play poker in peace?"

Grimmjow surveyed the scence momentarily before bolting to the nearest exit. He heaved the doors open and stopped dead. The edge of the floor swayed unsteadily beneath his feet. Beyond the doors there seemed to be little more than swirling globules of hyper-intensive colours. Grimmjow's jaw dropped. What on earth was going on? Rather than risk an epileptic fit, he hurriedly slammed the doors shut.

"Nyahh! Grimmy-chan~! Found yah!"

Gin's taunting voice jerked Grimmjow back to reality and caused him to search wildly for the source of his disruption. Gin's voice chuckled.

"Nawww~ Practicin' a new dance are ya?"

Grimmjow snarled.

"Cut it out Gin!" He snapped. "What the hell is going on?"  
"Grimmy-channn~~ Why do ya gotta be so meannn~~? Duncha wanna play wit mee?"

Grimmjow slammed his foot into a chair in frustration.

"Come off it Gin! What are you playing at? What the hell am I doing at the opera!"

The silence that followed this was almost as terrible as the initial arrival of his superior's voice. Grimmjow felt tempted to go on a rampage. He considered the consequences of his actions and decided that it was well worth the effort. He was about to start his rage fest when another voice interjected.

"Grimmjow Jeagerjaques."

It was unmistakeably Aizen.

"Y-yes?"

"Grimmjow, what did you ask of Ichimaru?"

"I wanted to know what was going on."

"Hmmmm?"

"I wanted to know what was going on, Sir."

Aizen sighed lightly.

"Grimmjow, Grimmjow… I'm sure you understand that that is really not possible. You signed up for strange and unexpected experiences, did you not?"

"Yes sir."

"Then why are you complaining?"

"I just….. I don't understand, Sir!"

"It is not your place to understand."

Grimmjow scowled.

"Now, now. None of that. You will complete any and all tasks assigned to you, without further question. Do you understand this?"

"Yes sir."

"Good boy. Now go to sleep. You will receive further instructions upon your arrival."

"My arrival where?"

But the voices had gone, leaving Grimmjow with no other choice but to follow his orders. He trudged back to his seat, closed his eyes and was finally lulled to sleep by the terrible bore that was the opera.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Wow, yet another chapter. Unfortunately to get these chappies out quicker I've sacrificed chapter length D: Hopefully it's still worth the read :) Feedback is highly appreciated. I'd really like to hear what you think, tell me if it doesn't make sense, if people are OOC, any sort of criticism is great :D Anywayyyyy... Please enjoy :P**

**I don't own Bleach :(**

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_Grimmjow blinked blearily. The harsh sun was not a welcome addition to his morning. He shifted where he lay frowning at the sudden invasion of sand granules into his underwear._

'_Wait… what!'_

_He flung himself upright, scanning the landscape suspiciously. _

"_Oh…. You woke up."_

_Sitting next to him dressed in a ridiculously green pair of board shorts, Nnoitra was peeling a banana. Grimmjow peered at him incredulously._

"_What. The. Hell?"_

_Nnoitra glanced at him then returned to his work._

"_Beats me man, I just woke up here. Nice Speedos by the way."_

_Grimmjow glanced down and realised, to his horror, that he was wearing bright blue budgie smugglers. Nnoitra snickered as he watched his friends face fall as the extent of his potential humiliation sank in. _

"_Those bastards!"_

_Nnoitra flung his banana skin at the quickly reddening bluenette and took a bite of his treat._

"_At least they didn't put you in a bikini, man. That would've sucked."_

_Grimmjow had to admit that this was true. He would have continued thinking, but he was interrupted by the appearance of a very shifty looking lifesaver. _

"_Gin?"_

_The lifesaver glanced around._

"_Who ya talkin 'bout?"_

"_Oh, come on Gin, we ain't that stupid we can't tell it's you."_

_Gin frowned. _

"_Well, well, ain't ya clevah then!" His characteristic smile returned in full force as he continued._

"_Aizen-sama's got orders for ya!"_

_Grimmjow snarled._

"_Cos that turned out so well last time."_

_Gin chuckled lightly._

"_Nawwww, Grimmy-chann~ Dun be madd~~ 'Sides, Tousen dressed you!"_

_Gin waved his hand airily._

"_Anywayy~ Ya gotta go find Ulqui-pie, kay? Aizen-sama'll send ya more orders once ya've got 'im."_

_Nnoitra smirked._

"_Good luck man!"_

_Gin turned his squinting stare to Nnoitra._

"_Ya do realise tha' ya gonna 'elp 'im, duncha Noi-Noi~?"_

_Nnoitra's smirk dropped like a brick from an aeroplane. _

"_WHAT! Why the hell would I wanna find that emo jerk?"_

_Gin shrugged._

"_I ne'er said tha' ya wanted ta, jus' tha' ya had ta."_

_And with that, Gin stalked away through the sand leaving behind him two steadily reddening figures._

Elsewhere, Ulquiorra had come to a dead end. The expansive vineyard had turned out to be not as large as he had initially thought. He stood at the fence and gazed out into a swirling abyss that he felt should probably not have been there. Despite this, there was one particular aspect of his current view that fascinated him inherently. He hadn't seen it at first, as it wasn't particularly obvious, but now that he noticed it he could not take his eyes off it. In amongst the undulating colours one shape stood out. It looked to be the shape of a tree, the branches and leaves being his main clue, but that was not the true reason that his attention was so captivated. It was the letters spelled out underneath.

"You…. Must…. Find… The… Bacon… Tree…."

He considered these words. They sounded like acceptable sorts of words. He was often told that he must find things, usually by Grimmjow. Bacon was also an acceptable concept, one that he approved of quite highly. What puzzled him was the concept of a tree of bacon. Trees he had heard of, but he was unsure if they were truly the origin of bacon. I shift in the abyss regained his attention. Under the previous six words four new ones had appeared.

"By…. Order... Of… Aizen…."

In light of this last sentence, Ulquiorra decided that the issue of the bacon tree was not of its existence, but of its location. If Aizen-sama said it was so, then it was so. Satisfied with this logic he turned away from the pretty colours and was about to begin his quest for the bacon tree.

"…_.orra..."_

Ulquiorra cocked his head to the side and listened intently.

"…_.Oi! …Ulquiorra!..."_

The faded and far away voice sounded disturbingly like Nnoitra.

"…_HEY! You stupid bat! WAKE THE HELL UP!"_

The world began to tremble, and Ulquiorra felt his eyes slipping shut against his will. As his body fell limp he was disappointed that he did not have greater opportunity to search for the bacon tree. Deep within the recesses of his mind he sent a silent apology to his revered master.

'I will find it Aizen-sama! I promise!'


	5. Chapter 5

**:O Last chapter guys! Thanks for the reviews and stuff, much appreciated. Hope this made sense :D**

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"You'd better get out of his face, man! He'll flip on you if he wakes up with you that close."

"Relax, he's out like a log, I got nothing to worry about."

"I don't know, Grimm…. If he isn't waking up by now I don't think he ever will."

"Don't be so- Ah crap."

Ulquiorra's green eyes narrowed as he became aware of the close proximity of Grimmjow's blue ones.

"Get out of my face, trash."

Grimmjow sat back on his heels.

"What ever, at least you're up now."

Ulquiorra surveyed his surroundings. It was far too sandy for him he decided and the air was too salty.

"Why are you trash wearing so little clothing?"

He had first noted that Nnoitra appeared to be wearing shorts adding a side note that he was carrying his towel, not wearing it as Grimmjow appeared to be.

Grimmjow stood violently.

"Like you can talk! Look at you, in your ….. thing!"

Nnoitra stifled a laugh as Ulquiorra surveyed himself. It appeared that the cat was correct. For some reason it appeared that he was indeed not wearing as much as he had been moments before. He appeared to be wearing some sort of tight fitting body suit. The strange feel of it perplexed him greatly. Shrugging off this new and foreign thought, he stood and began to walk.

"What! Where the hell you think you're going?"

"To complete my assigned task. Please do not bother me, trash."

Grimmjow rolled his eyes, exchanging a look with Nnoitra before following the smaller man in his trek.

"Sooo… What's this task you think you've got?"

"Aizen-sama told me to."

"Told you to do what?"

Nnoitra brushed a stray hair back from his face, frowning at the nagging thought that had been lurking at the back of his mind for some time now.

"Hey, does it bother you guys that we were at work just before?"

He cut in before Ulquiorra could address Grimmjow's question.

Ulquiorra stopped. "Does it matter where we were?"

Nnoitra shrugged. "I dunno, man…. But isn't it weird? We don't even know how we ended up on this beach!"

Grimmjow considered this.

"No…. I know how I got here. I went to sleep."

Both Nnoitra and Ulquiorra turned to look at him quizzically.

"You went to sleep? Man, that's messed up."

Ulquiorra however, was not so quick to dismiss this notion.

"You may have a point. Just previously before you woke me, I was awake and I experienced the sensation of falling asleep as you woke me."

The three stood still for a moment, each mulling over this new found information.

"Man that is screwed up." Nnoitra shook his head, attempting to dislodge the obstinate mental block parading around his head. Grimmjow also wanted something to distract him from the mind blowing thoughts that had invaded his head space.

"Ulquiorra, what did Aizen tell you to do?"

Ulquiorra's expression lightened.

"I am required to locate the bacon tree."

Grimmjow burst into laughter as Nnoitra began spluttering hysterically.

"Bacon doesn't grow on trees!" Grimmjow managed finally.

"Man, you are one dumb kid!" Nnoitra snickered.

Ulquiorra frowned.

"If we are dreaming, what is there to dictate that there can be no bacon tree?"

Grimmjow's eyes widened.

"Well then what the hell are we waiting for! TO THE BACON TREE!"

Aizen sat with his two accomplices and smirked. It was all going exactly as planned.

Grimmjow was once again in a foul mood. They had searched as far as they could go, scoured every inch of the beach that they had been restricted to, and still there was no bacon tree. The three stood glumly and stared at yet another swirling wall of non-existence.

"This blows." Nnoitra's voice sounded stifled under the weight of their defeat.

"Aizen-sama would not mislead us." Despite this statement, even Ulquiorra's faith in his master had been shaken.

"Nyahhh~! Ulqui-pie~ Watcha doin?"

Grimmjow turned and glared ferociously at the newly appeared vice president/ lifesaver.

"Would you care to explain what the hell is going on!"

Gin shrugged.

"Nahhh, Grimmy-chann~ Can't make it too easy for ya, can we? 'Sidesss… work's ova and stuff. Wakey wakey sleepy headdss~"

Ulquiorra felt inherently disappointed that despite all his effort he had not succeeded in locating the object of his quest. He knew he had been a disappointment. He felt his consciousness withdrawing as he stood, closely followed by those the trash that had accompanied him.

The harsh fluorescent lights above his desk made Ulquiorra's eyes water. Wearily he rubbed the back of his neck and stretched out over the back of his chair. As his eyes adjusted he became aware of a strange and prickly shape sitting on the desk in front of him. It took a few minutes before what he was seeing registered. The porcupine stared in disdain at the half asleep minion in front of him. Casually, he slurped up the remains of his bacon filled meal and trundled away.


End file.
